Is your project giving you a headache? Be careful what you ask for. You might lose your spine in the bargain.
This project manager just needed a little advice. He needed ST to keep his project on track. But he almost got a little more than he asked for.
Don't let this happen to you.
Take two asprin and call me in the morning.
Patient: I think you are next. That door right there.
Project Manager: Just a little headache is all my project is on life support.
Doctor: I’m not a therapist but I could take out your spleen.
Project Manager: No, it’s my project. I never assigned tasks to employees they just work on whatever they think is fun. They blew past the budget in the first month and I have another year to go. That’s giving me a splitting headache.
Doctor: I understand. Let’s have a look at that spinal cord, I can have it out in an hour.
Project Manager: This is just my yearly checkup and it’s just a headache.
Doctor: Yes, but I like to go the extra mile. Plus I had nothing else planned today.
Project Manager: I feel fine except my project is giving me fits. Employees are camping out on the fun tasks and ditching the crap. I need a good project tracker.
Doctor: Still, could be your spinal cord. Let’s get that puppy out.
Project Manager: I think we’re done here.
Receptionist: Looks like your doctor has a big day planned.
Project Manager: Let’s skip that I have to get back to the zoo. Get it? I manage the company projects.
Receptionist: Using Standard Time®?
Project Manager: Never heard of it.
Receptionist: Then you’re sunk.
Project Manager: What would you know?
Receptionist: Evidentially more than you.
Project Manager: All right genius. What is Standard Time?
Receptionist: Only a project tracking savior.
Project Manager: Will it save my skin?
Receptionist: Go out to www.stdtime.com.
Project Manager: Stdtime.com? What is that? A disease site?
Receptionist: Standard Time dope. I used to be a project manager before I wised up and got this gig.
Project Manager: Whatever.
Receptionist: All right. You’re all scheduled for surgery. The doctor will see you again now.